Something new, something old, somethign borrowed, huh?

Mmm? Nah, it's not about wedding....
ew, nope, neither it's abut marriage itself, ppls
Any more ideas? ohhhh that's it! Yup-yup, you, yes, you *nods* your thought is totally correct *nod-nods* it's about prejudice n superstition *nod-nod-nods*
what new can be said abt those 2 things? Aside from they totally destroy life but let ppl feel better for doing or not doing something out for some sort of reassurance of better end if they follow public opinion or experience/believes of old. Sure, cool, reassurance helps ppl to look straight ahead of them, brushing away fear and doubt.
But in how many cases does it have completely opposite effect? How often do those two blasted things make ppl do something they don't actually want to do, to make choices they wouldn't want to make, to make them uneasy n sulk in the end for not following the lead of their heart or mind?
Way too often, isn't it? Can bet, anyone have their own examples when had to do soemthing not 'cause wanted to, but 'cause it is common to act this way. And what to do with slapped away fingers that desired to do things their way, may it be not correct but their own? What to do with swallowed emotions you could have never said 'cause those emotions 'aren't acceptable at certain situation'?
Ppl live in the society that yells it's modern n civilized, that everyone has their own choices to make n ideas to voice n be accepted. Then why it's so hard to let the things go that should go? So-called democracy yerns to free people n let them be themselves, sensible, just, n free in their doing, then why even in 1st world countries that shuld be outmost developed in all senses, such things as public acceptance/non acceptance, contempt are still so common n loved? Why superstitions rule over the mind n heart? So hard, so hard to let go of things that are so deep rooted in historical memory? Person, you, you should be able to distinguish your wishes n the pressure from outside, then you can achieve happiness with your own hands, never looking back or regretting something. Your decisions, your choices are your life. You make them, you live through them n get your own experience from them, yours n yours only, be it useful or harmful, success or regret, you reached it on your own n next time you can do it better. That's what you should aim for. To be freed.

^ The Crap above is written after reading one psychological book. Just couldn't resist not doing it xD Never read 3rd sort books ppl, you can write this *** even w/o talent or diploma. The only thing you should knwo abt it, keep up with abstract questioning for none, have undertone of motivation to action n most important start so it doesn't seem like scientific boring report ew. n your book will be a hit. Ew. EW xD

@темы: Литература, Мысли вслух

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*looking through random diaries*
OMfG soo much drama n self pity that it's not even funny, some need not a diary but a psychologist's help -.-;
OMG n i was abt to sob abt my life here all the way through, no frigging way o.o i dun wan be depressive pessimistic unstable person who can do is only to weep *freaked out*
gosh, i'm so glad only few posts so far n i haven't even started what i meant abt my sobbing *becomes pale*

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-2 days later she found out, there are numbers near my diary n that that means there're new comments *baka-baka*

I've been browsing random diaries past 2 days, and found few cool ones <_< how could i forget there's something so awesome as other ppl ideas n life -.-

*gotta look up latest new of my Chosen* *sneaky-sneaky*

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Eww, w/o css it's completely ruined =x sorry for inconvenience whoever managed to drop by this diary =x

anyway, i'm back for the time being, not gonna be here often, but at least i hope i won't forget abt this place again >_>

most of entries are gonna be in eng from now on or i gonna type in latinica, 'cause my lappy went mad n it's tough to change langs

n not that i want to type in rus anyway *sweatdrop*

this style was so calming now that i look at it again, so still n pacifying... i wonder why i left this place in the 1st place >_<;

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oh sh*t >_<
хочется себя убить немного. убила полгода жизни. нет, вру больше. почти год. просто на ветер и без толку. самое гениальное, до чего я дожила, это было убить все социальные связи(что в реальной жизни, что в здесь), которые и без того были хрупкие.
Гомен-насай >_<
*безалаберный автор продолжает находиться в бессрочном отпуске, за который потом придётся расплачиваться Т_Т

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ahem~ давно мне не писалось

Ну что же ^_^
Подводим итоги ^_^
Несмотря на проваленный экзамен чувствую себя лучше, чем всегда ^_^
А всё по тому, что дорогие спаммеры не портят мне жизнь на форумах.
На днях поняла, что маркетинг и PR - это сложно. Нужно обладать определённым талантом убеждения. Ибо я не могу пройти даже первую стадию сейчас (объяснить все плюсы идеи коллегам). Убиваюсь уже вторую неделю, а всё на том же красивом Нуле.
/нет-нет, я не работаю и не собираюсь пока. Это всё мой любимый форум встряску моим мозгам даёт/
Скоро еду на дачу. Вместо Германии *муахаха* /скрывает истерический смехо-плач/ Обидно. Я так хотела посмотреть фестивали в Мюнхене Т_Т Когда ж ещё на празднование 850-летия города попадёшь? Т_Т
Но да ладно Т_Т Делать нечего. В следующий раз буду умнее: буду заказывать курсы от Goethe-Institut. (Если родители раньше не закопают за потерянные деньги) А ведь я собирадась на 7 недель ехать Т_Т
Гья~
Теперь мне предстоит лето а) на даче; б) в деревне; в) в Москве. Больше всего я б хотела быть в Москве...но Т_Т не мне решать Т_Т

Возвращаясь к насущному. Читаю "Время жить и время умирать" Ремарка. Убийственная вещь. прямом смсле убийственная. В Начало я читала долго. Пара предложений - передышка, чтобы убить чувство тошноты. Опять пара предложений и снова отдых. Я счастлива, что читаю сие на немецком и не всё пониманию. Если бы на русском, я бы, скорее всего, не смогла убить позывы. Моя понимает, что так достигается погружение читателя в правду войны... но это чтение явно не для моего воображения. Несмотря на мои впечатления я всё равно преклоняюсь перед талантом Ремарка. Ибо чтобы написать такое и дать это прочувствовать...действительно нужен потрясающий талант.
Больше пока слов нет. Пока что только на 40-ой странице. /а ещё 302 впереди Т_Т *умер*/

@музыка: best fm

@настроение: хум-хум-хум... Т_Т

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I despise spammers.

I despise spammers.

Yes, I do despise spammers.

No questions, no problems.

No brains, no curse.

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T_T summing up

two more weeks and finally I'll be able to breath freely
I so wish, that I could finish all my projects soon, but it's pretty impossible.
At least I hope to meet the last deadline, or... I'll meet a great possibility of dropping out.
Foreign languages give me headaches lately as well. 73% for test in Deutsch; English and Japanese... I don't even remember, when I opened my textbooks last time and next week and the week after I have my finals. The worst possible combination. T_T
And... down with all these studies, I wanna rest, even if professors are being such pain in the neck and nag me every certain day with all their damn expecpectations
I just wanna live. To hell with everything else T_T

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Doubt by Tonogi Yoshiki

Почитала сегодня на паре "Проектирование соц.исследования" (да на той самой, что заставляет убивать мозг уже третью неделю курсовой с непонятным смыслом) Doubt руки Tonogi Yoshiki.
Хочу сказать, не плохой ужастик. Самое что надо, чтобы проснуться от всего того непонятного усыпляюще-гипнотизирующего, о чём вещал лектор. Мой опыт до того проапгрейдился самостоятельно, что теперь без труда и BakaMangaUpdates определяю жанр манги и её качество. Глаз подсказывает, что это самый что ни на есть настоящий щёнэн, жёсткий, но без смата. А это сразу говорит о том, что сее творение не будет отличаться сверхглубоким сюжетом и смыслом. Но сюжет интересным оказался, и мне нравится, что можно гадать, кто есть кто, зачем и почему. ^_^ Жаль, что пока только 5 глав переведено, но и сие маленькое количество настолько загрузило мой мозг, что моё исследование не хочет что-то занимать своё законное тронное место.
*поползла искать другие работы сего автора*
О, точно, вспомнила! Эта манга напоминает мне ещё одну, от которой я была в восторге пол-лета и осень. Тоже детектив с ужастиками, но, как же ж её звали-то... Поди найди её теперь в своих завалах Т_Т А перечитать-то хочется... хоть и в следующем месяце Т_Т

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Читаю Totally Captivated. Рву на себе волосы. Я читала много всякого бреда. Но чтобы я читала щёнен-ай, почти яой *бьётся головой об стену* Ринши-сан, убей меня, когда прочитаешь это. Я ненавижу читать такие жанры Т_Т но смешно. Млин,ох уж эта человеческая логика Т_Т

Попутно прочитала сегодня Byul Bit So Ge... довольно занимательный сюжет, но было бы лучше, ксли бы атор доступно написала-расписала про все эти группы-группировки, и кто чего там хочет и зачем, потому что я это не догоняю в принципе. И некорейскость половины имён меня добивает. Но всё-таки рисовка действительно похожа на Хванг Ми Ри. Зато теперь я хотя бы знаю, почему :Р

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Добро пожаловать, Koldridj-san!=))
Располагайтесь, как Вам будет удобно и чувствуйте себя как дома ^_^

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На этой неделе я опять не была в универе. А всё по тому, что сидела на форумах, качала/читала мангу и опять не сделала ни одной д/з. В т.ч. не начала даже писать курсовую. *** мне будет скоро, такое чувство.
Но по-любому, это пустое сотрясание воздуха, т.к. я только начала читать Operation Liberate Men. А стиль у манхваки уж оч мне напоминает Хванг Ми Ри, поэтому медитировать на этот бред я буду ещё долго, видимо. А там ещё есть парочка щёнен-ай-евских вещичек.... и уж совершенно не подражаемые манхвы и манги...
Надеюсь, хотя бы немецкий сегодня начать делать в общем Т_Т

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Закрытая запись, не предназначенная для публичного просмотра

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Корейские мифы - это Ахтунг. Именно что с большой буквы Ахтунг. *невнятно про себя что-то бормочет* мифы о Солмундаэ Халманг - учебник по извращённому мышлению с точки зрения современного понимания цивильности и этичности.

Что-то у них какие-то неадекватные проблемы с яйцами, и вылуплением из яиц, различными кладезями были. Ну, с лисами-то им, ясное дело, пришло возиться из-за Китая, но причём тут земноводные(?) яйцекладущие?.. Этого-то они откуда нахватались? Это явно далеко не миленькие глупенькие японские Каппа!

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корейские народные...

Why the Sea is Salty?

Why the Sea is Salty?
Hundreds of years ago there was a king who had a very unusual stone hand mill. It looked like any other stone hand mill but it had special powers. All one had to do was say what one wanted and turn it and out would come what had been requested. If gold was requested, gold would come out. If rice was requested, rice would come out. Whatever was requested, the small hand mill would produce it.

A thief made up his mind to steal the hand mill because once he had heard of it he couldn't get it out of his mind. For days and days he thought about how to steal it but he could not come up with a plan.

Then one day he dressed like a scholar and visited a court official who had access to the royal palace. They chatted about this and that and finally the thief said, "I heard that the King buried his strange hand mill in the ground because he doesn't trust his ministers."

"What's that? The King doesn't trust his ministers? Where did you hear such talk?"

"That's what they say in the countryside," said the thief, happy he had sparked the man's interest. "They say the King dug a deep hole and buried the hand mill because he is so afraid that someone will steal it."

"That's nonsense!" said the official. "The King's hand mill is beside the lotus pond in the inner court."

"Oh, is that so?" said the thief, trying to control his excitement.

"No one would dare try to steal the King's hand mill," said tht official. "Who would even think of trying when the thing is lying right beside the lotus pond where there is always lots of people coming and going."

The thief was so excited that all he could say was "Yes" and "That's right" until he was able to leave.

For many days the thief studied the situation. Then one very dark night, he climbed the palace wall and stole the hand mill from beside the lotus pond.

He was brimming with pride and confidence as he made his way back to the wall. But once outside the palace, he was overcome with fear of being discovered. His heart skipped a beat every time he met someone on the street. He decided to steal a boat and go to his hometown to hide because he knew that once the theft was discovered, everyone in the city and on the roads would be questioned.

Once at sea the thief lay back against the bow of the boat and laughed. Then he began to sing and dance as he thought about how rich he was going to be. Then he thought about what to request from the hand mill. He did not want to ask for something common and easy to obtain.

"Salt! Salt!" he suddenly shouted. "I'll ask for salt! Everyone needs salt. I can sell it and become a rich man. I'll be tht richest man in the country."

He fell down on his knees and began turning the hand mill, singing as he did, Salt! Salt! Make some salt! Then he began dancing and singing about being a rich man.

And the hand mill kept turning and turning. Salt spilled over the sides of the small boat but the thief just kept dancing and singing and laughing, all the time thinking about the big house he was going to have and the numerous servants who would serve him lavish meals.

Finally the boat was so full of salt that it sank to the bottom of the sea. And, since no one has ever told the hand mill to stop, it is still turning and making salt, which is why the sea is salty.

The Rabbit's Judgement

The Rabbit's Judgement
Long, long ago, when plants and animals talked, a tiger fell into a deep pit while roaming through the forest in search of food. He tried over and over to get out but the walls were too steep for him to climb and he could not jump high enough to reach the opening. He called for help but none came.

The next morning he called for help until he was hoarse. Hungry and exhausted he slumped down on the ground, thinking that he was doomed to die in the pit. But then he heard footsteps.

"Help! HeIp!" he cried desperately.

"Oh! A tiger!" said a man, peering over the side of the pit.

"Please! PIease help me out of here!" pleaded the tiger. "If you help me, I won't forget you as long as I live."

The man felt sorry for the tiger but he was afraid of being eaten. "I would like to heIp you but, I'm sorry, the thought of what might happen makes me refuse. Please forgive me. I must be on my way," said the man and he began walking down the path.

"No! No! PIease don't think like that! Please help me!" cried the tiger. "You don't have to worry! I promise! I won't hurt you! Please heIp me out! Please! I beg you! If you get me out. I'II be forever grateful to you! Please!"

The tiger sounded so pitiful that the man turned around and walked back to the pit. He Iooked around until he found a big log. "Here, climb up this," he said, lowering the log into the pit.

The tiger climbed up the log and came face to face with the man. His mouth watered and he began circling him.

"Hey! Wait a minute! Didn't you promise not to hurt me? Is this your idea of gratefulness? Is this how you repay a kindness?"

"What do I care about a promise when I'm starving! I haven't eaten for days!"

"Wait! Wait!" cried the man. "Let's ask that pine tree if it is right for you to eat me."

"All right," said the tiger. "But after we ask, I'm going to eat you. I'm awfully hungry."

The tiger and the man explained the situation to the pine tree.

"What do men know about gratefulness?" said the pine tree. "Why your kind take our leaves and limbs to make fires to heat your homes and cook your food. And it takes us years to grow big but when we finally do you cut us down and cut us up to make timber and planks for houses and furniture and the like. Moreover, it was a man that dug that pit. Gratefulness. indeed! Don't give it another thought, Tiger. You just go ahead and satisfy your hunger!"

"Now what do you think of that?" asked the tiger, smacking his lips loudly and slinking toward the man.

Just at that moment an ox wandered by. "Wait! Wait!" cried the man. "Let's ask that ox to Judge?"

The tiger agreed so they explained everything to the ox and asked his opinion.

"Well, as far as I'm concened. there's no question about what to do." said the ox, turning to the tiger. "You should eat him up! You see from the time we're born we oxen work diligently for men. We carry heavy loads on our backs and plow up the ground so they can grow food. But what do they do when we're old? They kiIl us and eat our flesh and use our hides to make all kinds of things. So don't talk to me about being grateful to him. Just eat him!"

"See! Everyone agrees. Now get ready to die," said the tiger, crouching to pounce.

The man thought that it must surely be his time to die. But then a rabbit came hopping by.

"Wait Tiger! Wait!" shouted the man.

"Now what?" roared the tiger.

"Please give me one last chance." begged the man. "Let's ask that rabbit to judge whether l should be eaten or not."

"Oh, what's the use? You know the answer will be the same."

"PIease, please," pleaded the man.

"Oh. all right. But this is the last time. I'm starving!"

So the tiger and the man told the rabbit their story. The rabbit listened carefully. Then he closed his eyes and stroked one of his long ears. After a few seconds he opened his eyes and spoke slowly and deliberately. "I well understand what the two of you have said. But if l am to make a wise judgment we should go to that pit and you should tell me again what happened. So lead the way."

The tiger and the man led the rabbit the few short steps to the pit.

"Well it certainly is deep," said the rabbit. Iooking down into the pit. "Let's see, you say you were down there and you were standing here like this?" he said to the tiger and then to the man. "Well, get in the positions you were in at the time and then I can make a judgment."

Without giving it a second thought, the tiger jumped down into the pit. He was so hungry all he could think about was getting the decision-making over so he could eat the man. The man peered over the edge of the pit.

"So, that is how the two of you were. You, Tiger, had fallen into the pit and couldn't get out. And you, Man, having heard his cries of help. came and helped him out. Now I can judge. The problem started when this man helped that tiger out of this pit." explained the rabbit as if talking to someone else. "In other words, if the man had not shown any kindness and had left the tiger in the pit. there wouldn't be a problem. So what l think is that the man should continue his journey and the tiger should remain in the pit. Now, a good day to the both of you," said the clever rabbit and he hopped away.

Two Brothers

Two Brothers
In times gone by there lived two brothtrs whose loving ways were the talk of the valley where they lived. They took care of their widowed mother and upon her death they divided everything evenly.

Together they worked diligently from sunup to sundown to produce the most they could from their fields. It never failed that come autumn they had the largest harvest in the valley.

One late autumn evening, after they had spent the afternoon sacking and dividing the last of the rice harvest, the older brother thought, "Brother has lots of expenses since he just got married a few months ago. I think l wiIl put a sack of rice in his storehouse and not tell him. I'm sure he would never accept it if I offered it to him." So, late that night, he carried it to his brother's storeroom.

The next day, while tidying up his own storage, the older brother was surprised to find he still had the same number of sacks of rice as he had before taking one to his brother. "That's odd," he said, shaking his head, "I'm sure I took a sack of rice to Brother's house last night." He counted his sacks again. "Well," he said, scratching the back of his head, "I'll just take him another one tonight."

So, late that night. he carried a sack of rice to his brother's house.

The next morning, he was again shocked to find he had the same number of sacks as before. He shook his head over and over and decided he would take his brother another sack that night.

After a late dinner he loaded the rice and set out for his brother's house. It was a full moon and he could see the path quite clearly. Soon he saw a man carrying something bulky coming down the path.

"Why, Brother!" they both called out at the same time. The two brothers put down their sacks and laughed long and hearty for they both understood the mystery behind their unchanging number of sacks of rice. The younger brother thought his older brother could use the rice because he had a larger family.

The Disobedient Frog

The Disobedient Frog
A young frog lived with his widowed mother in a large pond. A rascal and a trouble maker, he never listened to his mother and caused her much grief and embarrassment.

If his mother said go play on the hillside, he went to the seashore. If she said go to the upper neighborhood, he went to the lower. If she said do this, he did that. Whatever she said, he did the opposite.

"What am l going to do with that boy?" she mumbled to herself. "Why can't he be like the other boys? They always listen and do what they are told. And they're always kind and respectfuI. I don't know what wiIl become of him if he keeps behaving like this. I have to do something to break him of his bad habits." Mother Frog sighed deeply.

"Ha! Ha! Ha!" Iaughed Little Frog. "Hush aIl that mumbling. You don't have to worry about me. I'm doing fine just the way l am."

"Is that so?" said Mother Frog. "Then why can't you croak properly? You don't even sound like a frog. Let me teach you." With a smile, she puffed herself up and let out a loud Kaegul! Kaegul! "Now you try."

Grinning broadly, Little Frog puffed himself up and let out a loud Kulgae! Kulgae!

"Why you impudent little rascal! You're going to be the death of me!" cried Mother Frog. "You'll Iisten to me if you know what's good for you. Now you..."

"Kulgae! Kulgae!" croaked Little Frog, hopping away.

Day after day Mother Frog scolded her young son but he continued to do as he wished and just the opposite of what she said. She fretted and worried so much about him that she became ill. Still he continued to misbehave.

One day she called him to her bedside. "My son," she said, "I don't think I will live much longer. When I die, please don't bury me on the mountain, bury me beside the stream." She said this because she knew he would do the opposite of what she said.

A few days later Mother Frog died. Little Frog cried and cried. "Oh my poor mother! I worried her so much by misbehaving. Why didn't I listen to her?" he scolded himself. "Now she's gone. I killed her. I kiIled her."

Little Frog thought about his mother and all the trouble he had caused her. Then he told himself, "I always did the opposite of what Mother said because it was fun. But this time l will do exactly what she told me to do."

So Little Frog buried his mother beside the stream, even tough he did not think it was very wise.

A few weeks later there was a storm. It rained so much the stream overflowed its banks. Little Frog could not sleep for worrying that his mother's grave would be washed away. At last he went to the grave to keep watch.

In the pouring rain he sat, crying over and over, "Kaegul! Kaegul! Please don't wash my mother away!" And that is what he did every time it rained.

And ever since then, green frogs have cried Kaegul! Kaegul! when it rains.

Ссылка

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Я сегодня опять пробила универ. Оба родителя смотрят косо и иногда вопрошают, типа всё ли со мной в порядке. Конечно, в порядке. Не скажу же я им, что вы типа знаете, а я вообще-то болею, температура теперь стабильная, но ещё не здоровая. И кашель у меня не аллергический, а бронхит. Но лучше молчать, ибо если скажу, то меня начнут интенсивненько лечить. А это слишком. Моё терпение не выдерживает всех их подсказок по каждому случаю. А их и так экстремальное забото-беспокойство в период моей болезни вообще невыносимо.
Не хочу и завтра идти, но меня иначе боюсь просто выпихнут. Похожу по книжным, наверное. Ибо если меня увидят господин Т.(ибо я пробила у него 4ое занятие за этот семестр, причем д/б на каждом докладываться Т_Т) и госпожа З. меня ждёт инквизиционная расправа после такого же допроса.
Да, лучше померзнуть на улице.

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Спокойно Курохьё, спокойно. Он тебе на нервы не действует. Не действует он тебе на нервы. Тебе это всего лишь кажется. Он просто немного выпил. Выпил немного, говорю тебе. Спокойно. Спокойно... Реалаксь, тэйк ит изи. Вдох выдох. Ты не чувствуешь перегара, поэтому он тебя не раздражает. Спокойно. Завтра приезжает мама. Всё спокойно. Глубокий вдох, выыыыыдох. Всё будет хоршо. Вдох-выдох.
*повторять по 5 минут каждые полчаса*

@настроение: не будите во мне Курохиме...

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Ненавижу библиотечный интернет, это раз.

Ненавижу, когда мне звонят с 18.55 до 19.30(в 19.30 я уже была в квартире) с целью узнать во сколько же встречать эту припозднившуюся ни на что не способную дитятю, которая не может 15 минут от метро до дома дойти сама. И это после того как я написала, что буду поздно(как вы думаете, и сколько же это поздно по нашему семейному расписанию? ха, правильно, 21.00).
Принципиально не брала трубку. И хер с ним. Меня уже конкретно задрало такое отношение. Всю дорогу хотелось пинать мусорные баки от бешенства. Ох. За что мне это?
Я не знаю, почему я так болезненно реагирую на такую глупость. Может потому что голова болит от насморка и температуры, глаза режет, а может просто потому что устала.
Самый весёлый вечный факт - я даже отстоять свою точку зрения никогда не могу по этому вопросу. Просто бесит.

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Я рыдать. Я не была на форуме с начала сессии. Это было ошибкой. Боооольшоооооой ошибкой... И где только столько спаммеров находится? И что они сделали со своим мозгам пока я отсутствовала?... Время от времени меня бросает в дрожь... такую мелкую и противную... иногда просто судороги... 5 страниц*30 тем с больше, чем одним постом. Больше, чем с одним спам-постом. *рпропорповарнываываычваимпчсо* мои слова с эмоциями вылетели в трубу.
Кто? Ну кто их учил читать/писать и тд? Черным по белому почти на каждой странице написано, что любую высказанную мысль надо подтверждать. Ёлки-палки! Подтверждать = написать почему!!!! Это, что так сложно набрать 25 нормальных постов, чтобы скачивать много-много манг, манхв, аниме, дорам и т.д.?!!! Ёлки, что за люди

@настроение: порву всех!

@темы: Мысли вслух

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1) пора менять авки
2) раз авки, то и диз (+говорят, он коряво где-то отображается)
3) Лена-сан меня сегодня покусает, если я опоздаю, а я уже опаздываю
4) с сегоднячшнего дня и до конца каникул(т.е. сегодня, завтра и послезавтра), ложусь спать как белый человек, а не в 3 часа ночи, вставая в 6, и снова засыпая в 9.
5) снова скоро в универ увааа!!! Т_Т